What exactly does one work on when trying to learn to “self-regulate” better? The idea of “self-regulation” can seem very abstract. The name can conjure up ideas of self-control and self-discipline, New Year’s resolutions (this year will be the year!), and mental plumbing complete with pipes, dials and regulators! Psychotherapy can seem like an obscure process, except for the occasional (in)accurate portrayals on TV shows and movies. To help dispel some of the mystery, here are five areas one can work on as a client in Wright Institute Los Angeles’ Self-Regulation Project (SRP):
- Process important relationships from your past. Research has made a connection between the quality of our early foundational relationships (especially with our parents) and our ability to self-regulate. This is by no means a blame game towards anyone’s parents. We are all flawed people with wonderfully imperfect parents. However, for some us, a confluence of personality and situational factors impact parents and other significant persons’ ability to model for us how to make sense and respond to our feelings and life experiences. At SRP, we can process these early relationships, and encourage a development of novel ways to respond to one’s feelings not previously modeled by foundational relationships.
- Improve current relationships. Difficulties in self-regulation impact one’s ability to relate with others. Relationships, especially romantic relationships, are emotionally demanding and stir up feelings in all of us. Difficulty regulating one’s feelings can have upsetting consequences like frequent breakups, a chronic sense of being misunderstood, and hopelessness about finding happiness with a partner. It takes work to see a romantic partner as a whole person—neither flawless nor absolutely flawed but someone possessing both desirable and unattractive qualities. Through the SRP, one develops new styles of relating with others and becomes more able to engage in deeper and more intimate relationships.
- Address challenges to mental health. Scientific studies have identified a link between difficulties in self-regulation and the presence of psychological symptoms and disorders. Individuals who struggle with self-regulation have a higher likelihood of experiencing depression, anxiety, and symptoms of other mental illnesses. As part of the SRP program, one will find a safe space to address one’s psychological struggles and find ways—both in working with one’s therapist and other participants—to respond to them in more life-affirming ways.
- Develop a closer mind-body connection. Different cultures, religions, philosophies have time and again described the close relationship between the mind and the body. Recent scientific studies of the brain-body relationship have all but affirmed the close connection. Our mind interprets and gives meaning to our bodily sensations. At the same time, our body responds and adapts to our ever-shifting states of mind. The struggle for those with difficulties self-regulating is a confusion in the mind-body link which causes over- and under-reactions to body sensations of stress and anxiety. In SRP, our intention is to provide a context where one can develop a closer and more reality-based mind-body integration.
- Become more open to life. Those experienced in weightlifting or another strenuous physical activity are familiar with the concept of muscle efficiency. It would be unrealistic to expect anyone without training to suddenly lift 400 pounds. Training is important as it allows muscles get more efficient over time—needing less energy for the same level of output. This metaphor can also be applied to those struggling with self-regulation. If too much of one’s mental energy gets used up trying to self-regulate, there isn’t enough left for engagement with the outside world. Participants in the SRP can develop more efficient ways of regulating themselves, and gain an increased capacity for openness of all that life has to offer them.
Might these five areas be ones you would like to work on? Would you like to know more about the program structure, cost, time commitments, and other details? Learn more at our website or call us at 424.371.5191 x436.
