In these uncertain times, we at WILA know that many of us in the world are looking for some trustworthy, dependable, and comforting advice and words of wisdom: which is why we now present your psychoanalytic horoscope!
*Disclaimer: These horoscopes are a work of pure undifferentiated fiction. Names, characters, latent content, diagnoses, internal dynamics, and unconscious organizing principles are the products of the author’s quarantined imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, theorists living or dead, or the reality principle is purely coincidental.
Gemini: Temptations are all around you: be it money, food, or possible romances. Beware, my friend: they’re all red herrings, mere distractions! Use your self satisfaction as a transitional object.
Cancer: Monday just isn’t your day, but only if you let it get to you. But don’t despair, regression is always one step back backward and two step forwards. Tuesday will be coming and with it a replenishing of narcissistic supplies.
Leo: Living in phantasies of the future? Don’t let the pleasure principle absorb your time, instead enjoy the moment for what it is. Celebrate jouissance!
Virgo: Feeling a little (anal) retentive lately? Issues abound but fixating on the problem won’t get you what you need. Expel, expel, expel.
Libra: Charmed is your life at the moment. Give your overbearing superego a break and let your Id flag fly.
Scorpio: Things feel tough, putting your primitive defenses into high gear. Try not to decathect upon those you care about. That’s what your therapist is for.
Sagittarius: How much money do you need? There’s a fine line between emotional need and external greed. Where’s yours?
Capricorn: The accumulation of delayed gratifications during self-isolation is wearing you down. It will be important to find a good holding environment to help you reintegrate.
Aquarius: You will be spending this month in the living room. Just like last month. Sorry to break it to you. Take your shoes off, settle in, and enjoy some well-deserved home time. Consider taking up gardening or another polymorphously perverse hobby.
Pisces: Be careful! There are problems and agressions projected on you from the news lately, but don’t identify with the projections! Instead, try to be content with the discomfort and then move on.
Aries: The energy you radiate is ever present, numinous, and oceanic. Keep cheerful, share your “O” with loved ones, and present a seemingly positive false-self to the world until your denial wears out.
Taurus: Rejoice! The stress you’ve been experiencing lately will soon be gone before summer borderline histrionics take over. Psychical inertia will be replaced by pure, unadulterated mania.
We hope this segment of psychoanalytic horoscope has provided you with the comfort of being understood and with some confidence regarding your next step! As mentioned, all predictions and insights in this horoscope are based solely on the author’s self-isolated imagination.